last night i finished weeding
apparently earlier in the week,
my watermelon tried to find freedom
from the confines of our little garden
but was reigned back in

our lovely garden
my row is the far one with corn
and the third one that is blocked
by the overzelous zucchini

my buddy kevin who shares his garden space
and who consequently has no filter on his mouth
but who makes us all laugh really hard
his family is my own family away from family

here we are, showing off our chests
with our hard-earned kevin cain 5K shirts
and as you can see
the corn is more than knee high
by this fourth of july!

tonight i had a performance with the concert band i am part of. we played in a retirement center full of encouraging smiles. however, there is one song that we play called "american salute" where we honor those who served in the armed forces. when they hear the song from the branch of the military they served in, they are to stand up and be recognized.

confession: i choke up every single time we play this song and i see them standing.

and it is a bit tricky to play my trombone when i am fighting back tears. but i'm just thankful for what they have given so that i can be free to do the things i love.

i thought this might shed light
on why i was weeding for three hours
and still didn't finish it all the way
my garden (aka "the jungle") before weeding

and it magically became a garden again
though i still have a little to finish at the far end

i wanted you to have a chance to meet everyone
this is my lovely sweet corn
he reminds me of home
so he's my favorite, but don't tell the others

and my wonderful cucumbers
who have begun to take over

these little guys have a soft spot in my heart as well
they were my first attempt at gardening
i planted these tomato seeds a few months ago in little pots
i didn't know if they would come up or not
they day i saw them sprout through, i was ecstatic
i put them in the ground a few weeks ago
and they have loved their new home
as you can see

this little yellow summer squash got planted late
so he's not very big yet
but i have a feeling he's really going to make up for lost time
and take over his area

not pictured:
watermelon (who is doing great!)
greenbeans (who i'm a little worried about)

last night i weeded my neglected garden for three hours.
it was a bit of a jungle in there.
i'll post some pics tonight or tomorrow.
i don't remember the last time i've seen something as lovely.

the corn is already knee high.
my greenbeans are surviving.
my cucumbers are taking over.
my watermelon is promising great things.
my tomatoes have enjoyed the freedom of garden life vs. potted life.
and my yellow squash made its debut from the underground!

now i know why people plant gardens.
it was the most lovely three hours i've spent this week.
even if i can barely walk today!

I bought the plant on the right when I moved in last summer. As you can see, it isn't doing well. I froze it to death over the winter months when I refused to turn my heat on. And then I discovered I was sacrificing it to the sun god when it got warm again. It isn't a "needs sunsine" plant...it likes shade more so. I didn't realize this until I decided to go buy a little sister for it...we'll see how they do together now that I know they are shady plants!

This is my cute new table with candle and new plant. Yes, I had another one of these plants last summer as well...but again, my freezing apartment killed it. I decided to try it again, and this winter I'll at least take it someplace warm if my apartment is utterly cold.

And my favorite gerbera daisies. They are such happy flowers. And these have delighted me. I got them back in early May and they are still alive and kicking...even flowering! My balcony is a lovely little sanctuary away from the chaos of life.

some chapters in life require one to search a little harder for the good shiny moments, but they do exist.

today's good shiny moment: a hug from my officemate.

Happy Father's Day
To all the dad's out there...
But especially to my favorite one!
Love you!

Sometimes all a person needs is a good home cooked meal to make the day a little brighter.

My meal tonight:

Mom's Meatloaf
Sweet Corn on the Cob
Mashed Potatoes
Dr. Pepper

Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream

I think the sun may yet shine.

In the past several years, my sense of home has become far more based in relationships than where I happen to find myself living. And the more I move around, the more important those relationships become to me. The beauty in this is that I can move virtually anywhere in the US (or world for that matter) and have someone I know within a reasonable distance.

However, as I have pondered over things, it has hit me just how much I miss being near my family and friends who have been with me the longest. The majority of my family and friends live in the Midwest - the very place I am most often homesick for. And though I know I will not move back to Iowa, my heart continually tugs at the rest of me to head west.

Tonight I sat looking through pictures of my three new second cousins, my niece, my "other niece", and I can't help but be a bit sad at all I am missing by being so far away. It gnaws on me each and every day. And though there are great things here that I know I would miss, I wonder if it would be outweighed by being near again to those I love so dearly.

I feel entirely unfit for living in the Northeast. It exhausts me to live here, but I am learning. God has provided people who are like family to me here. But they can never take the place of my actual family.

So I wonder when it will be time to go home. I wonder if it will ever be time to go back home. I wonder if being closer to those in my heart would take away this desire to roam. I wonder if I am one of those constant wanderers who will never be completely happy because something is always missing. I wonder what it would be like to see my family more than a few times a year.

And though I'm not making any moves right now, it looms in my heart for the near future - an ever growing question mark that I long to see an answer to.

The ache of my heart? I miss my family - and friends who are family to me. I am tired of being so far away.

"I have nothing to say of my working life, only that a tie is a noose, and inverted though it is, it will hang a man nonetheless if he's not careful."

-Life of Pi by Yann Martel

That pretty much sums it up.