Tonight, with a heavy heart, I said goodbye to my dear friend, Rose, the yellow lab. I only met Rose five months ago when I moved to PA and her owners took me under their wing. Each time I appeared on their doorstep, sweet Rose would greet me with her cold, wet snout and wagging tail, making me feel welcome and loved - something innate within her but also learned from her family of humans. I'd scratch behind her ears and under her collar as she'd bury her head in my lap. Over the weekend I learned that she was terminally ill, but that she most likely had a few months left.

She didn't.

Today she woke up lethargic and by afternoon was in so much pain she could scarcely walk. The disease ravaged her body quickly rendering her helpless and hurting. Several of us gathered there tonight to say our farewells to our dear Rose - an act that some may find foolish, but saying goodbye is a necessary part of a healthy life. Her cheerful presence and unconditional love of her humans will be greatly missed.

It's funny how such a creature can enrich life. They can't speak in a way we can understand. They can't laugh at our jokes nor cry with us. They can't give us a hug. But they can sense our moods better than most humans and respond to it in their own way. And they are faithful - unfortunately, also more so than most humans - ever constant companions looking not for wealth, perfection, or good looks, but only for your love.

Rose the dog, you will be missed.

On Thursday, my dad and I decided (with the help of Mom) to drive back to PA from Iowa. I had a few things left at the house that I was anxious to get out of Mom and Dad's hair...so Friday morning before the sun even thought about waking up, Dad and I were on the long road east. About 16 hours later, we arrived at my place in PA. He hung around all Saturday and we went to a museum and looked at some old airplanes and talked to a fascinating man who had flown in WWII. After lunch, some exciting grocery shopping, and a bit of downtime, we had dinner with my dear friends and Dad got to become part of my world here in PA for a few hours. This morning he again got up far before the sun even considered it and made it home this evening. What can I say, he's the best...and quite a trooper! :) Love you, Dad...thanks!

The merry elf herself. B.

Dad just loved his new musical light up tie. :)

We like to play in my family...

It took Tyler a good five minutes to open this drumstick.

And then he opened the cowbell.

We were thrilled. :)

Lara's annual slippers.

Very soft and fuzzy monkeys!

A family tradition.

B's big gift...she rode it all around the house.

Again, we were thrilled. :)

Oh, and Aaron and Lara have news...

They bought a house! :)

Trying the ask-nicely approach to getting Gpa to wear the Santa hat.

Like I said, we like to play in my family...

And when the ask-nicely approach doesn't work -

sometimes a bit of force is necessary. :)

Even when they double teamed him, it didn't work.

It was a fun try, though. :)

Fun to watch, that is!

After Christmas, I went to spend the day with my best friend.

And my other niece. :)

Little Leah was NOT happy about this photo!

But she's still pretty sweet. :)

Cute baby things everywhere.

Auntie Sara and Leah. :)

...from Gilmore Girls.

LUKE: And it's no big deal. I mean, the closer it got to the game, the more I felt like a loser. I mean, I'm sitting on these tickets, which means I thought I'd still be in a relationship. I don't know. Stupid. I broke my own rule. I asked for it.

LORELAI: What are you talking about?

LUKE: Never plan for anything more than two days in advance.

LORELAI: That's your rule?

LUKE: Yes, 'cause when you make plans, then you have expectations, and when you have expectations, then you will get disappointed.

LORELAI: Having expectations also gives you something to look forward to.

LUKE: Yes, then you're looking forward to being constantly disappointed.

LORELAI: You're not that cynical.

LUKE: I am today.

I love a good ol' fashioned white Christmas
And that's what this one is going to be
Except that my family already celebrated
But it was white, too, so I guess that's ok

One of my gifts is a star, from my sis-in-law and family
Named after me: "Aunt Sara's Nightlight"
It is found in Hercules' abdomen
Hopefully, I can find Hercules one of these nights I'm in Iowa
Can't see much for stars in PA

One of my gifts to myself was the game "Settlers"
It's often played by people from PA, but a few others know it as well
It has made for good family time whilst home
And afterall, isn't THAT the reason I came home?
To be with family and friends...at Christmas
I really want nothing more than time with them

Happy Christmas, All.
Enjoy.

Tonight I laughed so hard I nearly peed my pants.

A friend of mine came over after work and we sat down and watched a movie that neither of us had watched in ages. During the opening scene of the film, we giggled like schoolgirls until our stomachs cramped. And then we continued to laugh hysterically throughout the rest of the movie.

Here are some of our favorite lines...let's see if you can guess the movie!

"My brains are going into my feet!"

"What's the matter Colonel Sandurz? CHICKEN?"

"So, Lone Starr, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb."

"Yes, we're gonna have to go right to ludicrous speed!"

"Before you die there's something you should know about us, Lone Starr. I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate."

"So, Lord Helmet, we meet again for the first time for the last time."

"The radar, sir. It appears to be....jammed!"
"Raspberry. There's only one man who would give me the raspberry. Lone Starr!"

This morning when I got up, I checked the weather. I first looked at where I live in PA - a balmy 40 degrees at that point (later got up to 60 degrees!). Then, out of sheer curiosity, I checked the town where my folks live - 0 degrees, feels like -23 degrees

I've mentioned this before, but really, what is the difference between 0 and -23 other than 23 degrees? I mean, really cold is still really cold. You aren't going to dress any differently. My best friend and I had a brief conversation about that tonight. Why is it that it is 0 degrees but feels like -23...why wouldn't you just say -23 degrees. I know, it's about the wind factor, but I fear it is misleading to say its 0 degrees when really, for all practical purposes, it's -23. So why can't they just say it how it is? Both are stinking cold. No one in their right mind will stand outside for long periods of time in either...and it is possible to freeze to death in both.

I don't get it.

But I am headed back there in five days - and regardless of the cold, I can hardly stand the wait. I'm starting to get a bit more settled in PA, but two weeks of not working a job that is stressing me out sounds lovely. :) And as an added bonus, I get to be with my family and friends. It doesn't get much better than that - even if it is bitter cold outside.

• It has been raining here for two days straight. It seems wrong that it is raining in December. It should be snowing. I am a fan of snow - just not of the cold that typically accompanies it. Christmas lights are much prettier with a background of white.
  
• Toilet seats were not made with women in the North in mind. I have yet to turn the heat on in my place, so naturally that seat is FREEZING - to the point I have come to dread it. Not a good situation.
• I used to tell my mom I could never handle an office job where I sat in meetings all day. For the last week, I have sat in meetings every day. I was right, I'm not good at it. My mind wanders and I can't sit still. I doodle. I daydream. I ponder funny thoughts that I then have to suppress. It really just is not a strength of mine.
• Yesterday, I drove two of my teammates to a meeting. Yup, its true - another meeting. My love of wide open Iowa roads with relatively few people on them was reinforced when a 25 mile drive took over an hour thanks to insane traffic. The interesting thing, I'm not sure traffic was really "bad".
  
• I really love the people I work with. They make the bad traffic, rain, meetings, and cold toilet seats completely worthwhile.
  

maybe it's the holidays that have me thinking
maybe it's all the transition and uncertainty in my life right now
either way, there are days when i would give up all the adventures i've had
just to have back what once was

sometimes i wish life weren't so complicated
i miss the days of simplicity
when we could say what we meant
and didn't have to be so careful
when we didn't all carry so many scars
and could laugh with ease
when we all genuinely liked each other
and trust was inherent
when being together was enough
and life was sweet

and i know much of the disintegration is my own fault

and i wish i could fix it
but sometimes, things in life can't be fixed
or at least, one doesn't know how to go about it
but if i could have anything this year for christmas
that's what it would be.

Sometimes there just isn't much to say.

At times all there is to do is take a breath
Put your head back under
And keep swimming