“The wise woman builds her house,
but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”

Proverbs 14:1

When I first read this Proverb, I was struck by it because it really does show the woman as somewhat of a cornerstone for her household. With God as the foundation, she builds her house. And at first glimpse, it would be easy to cast this off for the married ladies in the world while we single ones get to escape responsibility once again. However, a deeper probing reveals to me that this Proverb is meant for me as well. Though not married, I still have a “house” of friends and family…so what is the atmosphere that I project to those around me? Is it one that a wise woman would choose; one that builds up this house? Or is it one that a foolish woman would build; one that is in a state of destruction?

Which of these women am I? This is the question that is prancing around in my mind tonight…I see the one I want to be, but I know my tendencies. So what does the wise woman look like? James 3:17 gives a very clear definition of the wisdom that comes from heaven. The words that would describe the wise woman would be: pure, peace-loving, considerate, submissive, merciful, yields good fruit, is impartial, and is sincere. So the questioning begins…are my thoughts and deeds and words pure? Do they build those around me up or do they tear them down? Am I stirring up strife or am I trying to step in the gap and promote peace? Do I think of those outside of myself? If I see someone in need, am I willing to reach out to help them? Am I willing to lay down my own self-interest for that of another? Can I submit to the authorities over me? More importantly, will I submit to whatever God wills in my life…be it rain or shine? Am I merciful to those that wrong me? Will I forgive them and instead of payback, choose to love them with the love of Christ that pours through me? Is my faith contagious? Am I willing to share it and when I do, is a difference being made? Are my prayers effective? Am I praying? Do I show favoritism? Am I willing to be impartial and to trust God with the judging? Am I genuine? Do I do things with all sincerity and people can see my heart in the matter?

It seems to me that the wisdom that comes from heaven rests quietly in the hearts of people. Our actions and words are an outpouring of what resides in our hearts; so I come again to the question: Which of these women am I?

What does the flip side of this wisdom look like? It is impure, conflict-loving, inconsiderate, disobedient, merciless, yields bad fruit, is partial, and is insincere. It paints an ugly picture for the foolish woman. She seems to be a woman who lacks self-control, is self-centered and selfish, who will not submit to authority (including that of God Himself), who, when she sees a need will not step in to fulfill it, keeps her faith to herself, shows much favoritism, and dons a mask.

The foolish woman seems to have a callous heart that is not moldable. She may know the religious jargon, but her actions will betray her words…and if her actions are commendable, her heart will eventually shine through for what it is.

In order to be wise, one must have a heart that is soft and penetrable. Due to its vulnerability, it can easily be broken, but because it is not rigid, it will not be shattered. The Potter can put it back together in a design that He knows fully.

I think the beauty in this whole Proverb is that it is not one of hopelessness. If I find myself falling into the trap of the foolish woman, James 1:5 assures me that I can ask God for wisdom and He will give it to me. And where does wisdom start? It starts with the fear of God (Proverbs 1:7). When we come to grips with our place before God, we will be humbled…and that is where wisdom takes root. In recognizing who God is, we can better see who we are and be in awe of the way He has covered us with the blood of His Son. We know we are undeserving, but loved with a reckless abandon by the One who with wisdom placed the stars in the sky and knows each of their names, who told the oceans they could only go so far, and who created the intricacies of the human body. When we get to that place, the calluses will be removed and our defenses torn down…and wisdom can take root in our hearts. Then we can begin building up our house. A house that will be a secure fortress and will be a place of refuge for our children…or in the case of a single…a place of refuge for those in your “house” (Proverbs 14:26).