What a night! Not only did we have a bridal shower for our friend Victoria...but my housemate, Amy, also got engaged today!! World, meet Amy and Tom...planning to be married in August...CONGRATS, kids...haha, I saw this coming in October. ;) Hate to say it Mon Ami, but "I told ya so." :)

Tonight we had a bridal shower for our friend Victoria (green shirt on couch). Things always get interesting when you gather this many girls in one place for an evening. Fun times. :)

Ah...the things we do at bridal showers!

Went out for dinner tonight with 12 of my friends from here. Just have to share two things...one, my friend's shirt...in honor of Cori. Don't know if you can read it, but it says, "Canada...They started a country and nobody came." Hehe. Then the story of my blonde friend who when we went into a store 2 mintues before closing and were talking about going upstairs said, "What if the escalators stop working?" (No, I'm not kidding, she really did say it...and another friend politely answered her, "They don't not work, they just turn into stairs!") Ah, this is the good stuff of life. :)

I have lived in the south now for about 8 months and there is just one expression that gets me everytime. Today, I just cracked up when I heard it. "Bless your heart." It's a good southern expression said by all good southern people, I have discovered. And what gets me is that it is used in such a variety of contexts!

Someone does something really sweet? Well, bless their heart. Someone drives off without their food at the drive thru? Well, bless their heart. Someone falls off the ladder? Well, bless their heart. You are talking about someone who drives you nuts? Well, bless their heart. I mean, really, just about any context will work for this common southern expression and that just makes me laugh sooooo much. Bless their heart!

So I was trying to super glue something together tonight when I broke down into a hysterical fit of laughter. A memory. Better yet, a memory of my best friend, Cori in Senegal. (Yes, Cori, you know where this is going!)

So last year on a quiet evening, during our "running phase", Cori decides she needs to super glue her shoe back together...because we live in Africa and its not like you can just run to the local shoe store and buy a new pair. You have to make due with what you have (Scroll down to Feb. 9th). I am sitting on the opposite side of the room just talking to her and going about my own business when I look up. And there I see one of the most hilarious sights I have seen. Cori, with her fingers glued to her shoes!! As she looks at me with this "I can't believe I just did this, now what do I do!?" look, I just broke out laughing uncontrolably at the situation. She said, "Sara, help me!" and I just kept laughing...I had no idea what to do and it was just too funny. I know, I'm not a very nice friend sometimes. So now, whenever I use super glue, I remember Cori being glued to her shoes and I am careful. She is an inspiration to me in so many ways. ;) (Hehe, Cori, I love you!) :)

I wanna know just what it looks like
What the answer's gonna be
I wanna grab hold of something
To give me some security
And know it's You I'm hearing
Gently helping me to see
When everything I've prayed for
Is not Your will for me

Sometimes yes, sometimes no
Sometimes that's the way it goes
-"Sometimes Yes, Sometimes No" by Jill Paquette

You know, sometimes things in life don't go as we have hoped
 that they will...most of the time, really.  I guess that is the beauty
in being a child of God...even when I know He could change things,
He doesn't...but it's not because He doesn't love me...on the contrary,
how would I learn to trust Him if He allowed me to have everything
that my heart desired?  He is a good and loving Father who really does
know what is best.  In the words of Peter the disciple, "Lord, to
whom shall we go?  You have the words of eternal life." (John 6:68)
 He is good, even when hope is disappointed...
and He gives us the strength and grace to get back up and keep
going.  What can I say other than I love HIm?  With everything I have.  

I only have a couple minutes while my cinnamon rolls finish baking...but I was hit by something tonight as I talked to 3 of my closest girlfriends from back home/Senegal. I've walked through some tough waters with all three of these women and as I reflect on the day here in the wee hours, I am fascinated at how I see God working in each of their lives. Sometimes I don't necessarily see how God is working directly in my life (though I know He always is), but I take comfort in the fact that I DO see Him working in others. Each of these women is in a very different place in life...one at a breakthrough, one down trodden due to very difficult circumstances, and one simply delighting in where she is right now. I know the histories of these girls...I know their stories...and I think that is the very thing that makes this current moment in their lives so impactful to me. I know that God will continue to breakthrough in the one's life, I know that God will give comfort in the others, and I know God is delighting with my friend who is very content. In my own life, there is a lot of limbo right now...but I take comfort...God knows my story and He knows what He is doing. And that, my friends, is amazing to me.

So I was looking through my kitchen cabinet thinking I wanted something to eat when I got distracted by my bread. I was thinking to myself, 'Wow, its been several weeks since I got this...I'll bet I need to toss it out because it's moldy.' Well, let me tell you, I am absolutely amazed at perservatives in America!!! Holy cats, not a single bit of mold anywhere on that bread. That made me happy because I really don't want to buy more bread. Had this been Senegal where perservatives are not so much used, that bread would have been moldy after a few days. Wow. Interesting stuff.

Here are some things.

• A man at work today told me that I looked happy. I decided it's nice to be told you look happy. It makes you feel happier.
  
• It's 11:22pm and I have not yet started my hermeneutics homework that is due tomorrow. Its going to be another frantic day tomorrow full of hermeneutics. Why do I do this to myself?
• Tonight I watched a man cry because he misses his family so much and is so far from home. I could relate. I could barely hold back the tears myself. My heart aches for this man because I know a bitter portion of what he is feeling.
  
• I miss hugs. Back home I give/get hugs everytime I see and leave a friend Here, that doesn't happen. 29 more days. I especially miss my dad's hugs. Even though home is not really "home" anymore, there is something sweet about getting back there. Right now, I'm just looking forward to so many hugs.
• The words to the song "I Will Sing of Your Mercy" keep going through my head.
  
• Why is it that hope disappointed hurts so much?
  
• I'm thankful that God loves me even when I'm not lovable or I don't have it all together.
  

I have a vivid picture in my mind of a woman who is stranded in her car in a whirl of rushing water. People on both banks are standing there trying to figure out what they can do to save this woman. On one bank, they make a chain of people and try to tie a rope around her car to at least hold it where it is and possibly even pull it back upstream to help this woman who is crying out for her life. Some people see the ordeal going on and join in, offering their strength in the situation. They all start to pull on the rope and all of a sudden, the car flips over and starts to go downstream...a general outburst of cries goes through the people on the shore...but then, the car flips back up and gets lodged onto the bank a little ways downstream and the woman is rescued from certain death.

This was a true story. My prof for one of my classes showed the video clip in class.

But tonight as I was rereading some emails and talking with some friends, I saw this video clip in my mind in a whole new way. The person in the car would be a friend of mine who does not have Christ in their lives and therefore is dying apart from Him. The people on the bank are my fellow brothers and sisters who are standing in the gap with me through prayer and other ways to reach this friend to save them from certain Death. And I was thinking about how things could play out...it may not go as we all hope and pray for...it may not be a picture perfect "rescue attempt"...but in the end, God is in control and knows what needs to be done to make it a beautiful ending.

I am just sitting here tonight utterly thankful for my brothers and sisters in Christ who will stand in the gap with me for my friend...and for whom I can reciprocate. I just love that God gave us a family to encourage and strengten us...people with skin on who can speak audibly to our hearts and minds and walk with us through various situations in life.

God is so cool. I hope I never stop being thankful for the way He saved me from Death (through prayers of many on the banks, I am certain) and gave to me His joy and peace.

Happy Easter!! He is Risen!! :) So today I had a bunch of friends over for a late lunch (or early dinner, depending on how you look at it)...we had far too much food, but a good time of fellowship. :) Here are some of us at the dinner table...we are so blessed.

Randy came to my rescue in the kitchen when I had too many things going at once. He did a great job with the mashed tators. :)

The kitchen table isn't big enough for everyone...so several had to eat in the living room. :)

Everyone needs a voice of reason. Most of the time, mine does not work so well...so I'm thankful for those who will speak it into my life, even if I am not fond of the consequences. For instance, tonight I was going to go to a movie with some friends...but then someone told me that I should probably stay home and work on reading the books that I have to have read in order to write a paper that is due on Tuesday. A good voice of reason. I guess tomorrow there will be time to spend with people...and not books. But as for tonight...I again get the priviledge of my books as my company. I guess I shouldn't complain...I'm blessed beyond reason. So tonight I will enjoy my pj's and popcorn and curl up with a book.

The divine plan
Set into place at the start
The Creator took on human flesh
With all its fraility
Giving up Heaven
He walked among His creation as one of them
This Christ was not expected
One who would make wine from water
One who would delight in children
One who would be at ease with the "sinners"
And One who would constantly frustrate the "religious"
This Christ showed us a new face of Love
In temptation He did not give in
In the circumstance of pain, He gave comfort
In constant misunderstanding, He was a patient teacher
In the midst of hate, He loved deeply
He was perfection living among imperfection
Yet He took on our imperfection
Allowing Himself to be put on the cross in our place
Never was there One so innocent
So undeserving of the cross
Yet because of His great love for us, He endured its shame
Giving up His life with the words, "It is finished!"
No longer do we have to be separated from our Creator
No longer does sin reign in us
No longer can Satan accuse those who are God's children
"It is finished", but it is not the end of the story...
He didn't stay in the grave
He went on to conquer death
And now sits at the right hand of the Father
Interceding for us

We have been caught up in a love story
He is recklessly pursuing us
If we but choose this Jesus to trust and obey
We will be free indeed
Peace and joy residing within us
With eternal life in His presence to anticipate
And with Love promising never to leave us...ever.

As I sit here, my day finally winding to a close, I am amazed at how far away this morning seems. From finding out that indeed I did NOT fail the test I took last week to sharing with some women in my life to barely finishing an assignment to finding out that one of my very favorite people on this campus is being sent to Iraq in a month...what a day. Yet I sit here with a smile on my face...thankful for the goodness of my Abba.

Yesterday I found myself discouraged and just pretty blue. Yet, His mercies are new every morning...today being no exception. I can't help but laugh at the way God sees into the deepest nooks and crannies of my soul and uses the people in my life to speak to those very issues. There is one issue in my life right now that I am trying not to think about for sanity's sake...but today, I was able to share with an older woman (older than me that is!)...and she really gave me hope in the situation, though tried to be careful that it was not a false hope. And just throughout the day, God spoke to my heart in so many ways.

Tonight, not only did I force my roommates to meander home (rather than the neck breaking pace we usually keep!), but I also made them stop at one point...just to listen. Wow. The night sounds were in full orchestra tonight...I wish I could sleep outside!

Its just funny the things that God uses to draw us to Him. I guess this is just one of those tender moments when I am overwhelmed by God's goodness to and love for someone like me.

My roommate, Missy, and I (back when I lived in IC) used to have a tradition of "flopping". Flopping consisted of her coming in my room and both of us flopping on my bed and just talking about all the "stuff" of life. It could range from anything to boys to God to what was next in life to random frustrations to random great things. I miss flopping. Tonight is one of those nights when I find myself distracted from work and exhausted and just craving someone to flop with...just to talk. Am I the only one in the world that feels this way? I just wish I had someone that I could talk to whenever...you know? But people are busy or a guy is trying not to lead you on and therefore is "guarding" your heart...or all the other stuff that goes on. I know, I know, the Sunday school answer is that Jesus is always there to listen. But sometimes I just crave someone with skin on who I can see face to face...not that I have to strain to hear on the phone or laboriously write via IM or email. I guess I'm just exhausted. Nights like this are always harder. Guess that's part of this deal. But the beauty of it is that it does end and tomorrow is a new day full of grace. God created us for relationships...so I guess I can't be too hard on myself when I crave that very thing. Tonight, however, my books will be my company...a 50 page article on the Holy Spirit. Giddy up. :)

"If we can talk ourselves out of hoping, then the pangs of disappointment will miss us, too. Or so it seems. As one writer says, 'Hope is by far one of the most dangerous commitments we make in life.'...We literally push away life when we push away hope."
-Paula Rinehart

I am sitting here thinking back on the day...and it was a very random day. For lack of better terms....here's what I mean...

• Over the weekend I re-pierced my ears and bought some earrings. Today I caught a reflection of myself and realized how dumb earrings look in my ears. It's been years since I've worn any. Needless to say, I took them out and guess I will stick with the plain look. Some girls can do earrings and some just look goofy. I look goofy.
  
• An ice cream truck just drove down our road. Yes, I live on campus, Amy said it sounded like a Taiwanese garbage truck, it was very odd...I was extremely tempted to run out and get some ice cream...but I had just woken up. So...I tried to get Amy to go...but she just wasn't all about it.
  
• Have you ever started humming or singing something without realizing it reveals how you feel? For instance, someone who is dreaming about their upcoming wedding might hum, "Here Comes the Bride." Haha, today I started singing a song that revealed something I won't admit to myself...I won't tell you what it was, but it was pretty funny when I realized it! (Don't worry, it wasn't "Here Comes the Bride"!)
  
• For about 10 minutes this afternoon, I was totally and utterly convinced that I had mysteriously broken my right foot. It must have been some sort of cramp on the top of my foot (I had no idea that was possible!), but I couldn't walk on it!! Obviously it went away because I then walked to class. Sure glad its not broken. That would stink. :)
  
• I didn't realize until today how much a female teacher can add to a subject matter. Today we had a sub for an hour in class...and it was the most beneficial class I have had thus far. I mean, I really enjoy all of my classes and profs...but today brought a new perspective that just hit me the right way. She challenged me right to the heart of the issue (missions). Good stuff.
  
• I bought some coconut crunch doughnuts the other day...not such a good use of my money in this case. My roommate's opinion was "Well, you are losing weight, so it is a reward." My response was, "I don't deserve a reward...had I not put on the weight, I wouldn't have to lose it!" But they are rather tastey. I might need to give the rest of them to the guys floor. :)

So, it was a day full of random events....some of which I am not going to put out there to share with the world...but its always an adventure. :)

"And I wanna dance
I wanna snap my fingers all night long and dance
I wanna move around the room just like a woman in a trance
All night, I wanna dance
I wanna wrap my arms around your neck and dance
I wanna listen to the music that's been ringing in my ears
And one day I’m gonna dance my way right outta here"
-"Dance", Caedmon's Call

I pulled out this CD the other night, "Long Line of Leavers" by Caedmon's Call. I love this song. It has a really great beat and its just fun. In college, a bunch of used to go out and go dancing when the salsa band was in town. None of us really knew how to salsa...but we always had fun. I really love to dance. I'll be the first to confess that I really do have two left feet and look like an idiot...but I love weddings because I love to dance. And that's one of the primary times when I get to do it! But I was thinking about this song and thinking about dancing and joy and all that good stuff. I've been weighed down with heavy thoughts this last week...and that is not necessarily a negative thing...but there are times when I just want to cast it all off and have things be light. I guess one would call that freedom. And honestly, Jesus is the only place I have found that freedom...freedom to know that all really is in God's hands..its not just a cliche; something I just say...its real. He really does have it. I really don't need to worry. I'm good at worrying...but if I trust, there is no reason for it.

So today, I was reading and I ran across this paragraph...it really hit me square between the eyes and challenged me. I don't live with enough joy in my life. I don't like ambiguity. I don't live like I'm in the middle of a great Love Story. But I am learning...anyhow, enjoy. :)

"History attests that religion and religious people tend to be narrow. Instead of expanding our capacity for life, joy, and mystery, religion often contracts it. As systematic theology advances, the sense of wonder declines. The paradoxes, contradictions, and ambiguities of our life are codified, and God Himself is cribbed, cabined, and confined within the pages of a leather-bound book. Instead of a love story, the Bible is viewed as a detailed manual of directions."
-"Abba's Child", Brennan Manning

Happy Birthday to my long time roomie and friend, Brina...enjoy! Love you! :)

Happy Birthday to my very dear friend, Becky J!! :) I love you! :)

God is so good. I just wanted to say that. He just really is.

You know the old song, "Mama said there'd be days like this..."? Well, today is one of those days. One of the ones you wish you could erase. From finally getting it through your thick skull the guy you are interested in is not interested in you, to finding out that a long time friend was in a serious car accident, to having too much homework to do and not enough time to do it, to knowing that when you wake up tomorrow morning, the first thing you are going to do is go and fail a test because you haven't had a chance to study.

But there are always diamonds in the rough. Sometimes fewer than I would like, but they are there. God's little gifts. For instance, getting to know a friend a little better and hearing where God has brought them from in their life or talking to my best friend in Senegal, even if only for a distracted few minutes. And even as I sit here with a heaviness of heart that makes me want to crawl into bed and forget this day, I am thankful. Thankful for the love of the Father who is with me through this...for His love that I don't have to question...for His love that uses the awful things in life to reach people...for His love that will hold me while I sleep and will still be with me in the morning. So yeah, Mama said there would be days like this...but she also told me that God will be with me through them...and I couldn't do it if He weren't.

48 days. Yep, that's it. That is all the time that stands between Senegal and myself. Not bad really. 48 days to finish all of my assignments, pack up, and drive the 16 hours back home. Giddy up.

Tonight I had another kind of homesickness for Senegal. I missed Yero. I found out today that I have an interview for a full time teaching gig for next year here in the Columbia area on Thursday...so I had to go and do the one thing that I detest. I had to go shopping. You see, all of my "good clothes" have endured the Senegalese sun and have become "less good"...not to mention that America has really good food, which doesn't work so well with the "less good clothes" still fitting. :) So as I walked from store to store...cursing each one for the outrageous price tags and barely there clothes...Yero came to my mind and I missed him very much. Yero, whenever I needed a new outfit, was the man I went to. He was our tailor in Dakar. I miss Yero very much. :)

48 days...that's it! :)

Ever had one of those nights that you were fearful would not end? The thoughts were just churning wildly in your head making you absolutely restless? Welcome to my last few nights....anyhow.

I've been listening to this group called "Waterdeep" a lot. A friend of mine sent me their CD when I was in Senegal and just recently I have not been able to get enough of it. There is one song in particular that I just keep listening to...for some reason it resonates in me...maybe I just like the beat...perhaps I like the lyrics...maybe I feel like parts of it are staright out of my life...but regardless, I wanted to share with you the words...

He Will Come

by Don Chaffer and Lori Chaffer

Soon it will be hammered into what she calls her silly head
That she really isn’t silly but she’s beautiful instead

But every time she gets a hold of something pretty, it slips away
So she keeps hoping that someday soon

CHORUS

He will come. He will come
He will comfort all that’s hardened
change the deserts into gardens
and we all will see His face.
He will come. He will come.
He will soften all the starkness
Break the chambers of our darkness
and we’ll all be overwhelmed

She spilled her coffee in her Chevy on the way to work at 8:05
She always thought that she was clumsy and she hated it and wondered why

She can handle any tragedy that happens but not little things like this
So she keeps hoping that someday soon
(Chorus)

Within the world of a girl, the words she hears they mean an awful lot
And the music in her mind when she gets older has the lyrics she was taught

and when she gets to heaven all the right things will be said
And He will look on her with favor
(Chorus)

All my scars will turn to fountains
All my valleys into mountains
And we all will see His face

All you watchmen lift your voices
Then every boy and girl rejoices
when we’ll all be overwhelmed

Tonight I made up a batch of Grandma Page's rolls. Because I do not need to feed all that many people, I decided to split the batch between regular dinner rolls and the rest I made into cinnamon rolls. I have made them once before...they weren't bad, but they just didn't taste quite like Gma's...even though it is her recipe. I suppose it is always that way. :)

I was reading more today and ran across this sentence...I immediately fell in love with it...

"The heartfelt compassion that hastens forgiveness matures when we discover where our enemy cries."

By none other than our dear Brennan Manning in "Abba's Child". :)

It's late...or if you rather, it's early. Either way, I should probably be in bed...but thoughts are churning in my mind and that Coke I drank an hour ago is taking its toll. So I thought I would share with you some ramblings of a ragamuffin. However, these are not my thoughts, but rather from one of my favorite authors...yep, you guessed it, Brennan Manning. I know, you were concerned that you haven't heart about Abba's Child for awhile...sorry to say, I had to put it down in order to read 3 other books last week. :) But I read this yesterday and think its worth passing on....

"Tenderness awakens within the security of knowing we are thoroughly and sincerely liked by someone. The mere presence of that special someone in a crowded room brings an inward sigh of relief and a strong sense of feeling safe. The experience of a warm, caring, affective presence banishes our fears. The defense mechanisms of the impostor--sarcasm, name-dropping, self-righteousness, the need to impress others--fall away. We become more open, real vulnerable, and affectionate. We grow tender....

"...How would you respond if I asked you this question: "Do you honestly believe God likes you, not just loves you because theologically God has to love you?" If you could answer with gut-level honoesty, "Oh, yes, my Abba is very fond of me," you would experience a serene compassion for yourself that approximates the meaning of tenderness."