Perhaps I have been thinking hermeneutically too much today. We had to do an assignment on a prophetic passage and had to determine its fulfillment(s)...it was a bit of a rough assignment. But as always, I love a good challenge and found it to be rather interesting at the same time.

After I got done with my run/walk tonight, I went and sat down by the prayer towers to just have a few minutes away from the chaos of the day when I just burst out into a huge smile, my heart overflowing with joy, and I could hardly contain it. It's not the first time in these last several weeks this has happened. However, tonight I put it in context of a prophecy...a prophecy fulfilled. (At least in the sense of a split or multi-reference fulfillment.) :)

When I got here to CIU, I was still pretty broken about all the "stuff" that happened in Senegal last year. My heart was still heavy and full of pain. However, before I came here, God gave me a verse...tonight I will refer to it as God's prophetic verse to me (ha, I hope that's not heretical or anything!)...It comes from Jeremiah 31:3-4 where God declares His everlasting love for Israel and His drawing her with loving kindness...that He will build her back up (which implies that there was a time of tearing down)...and that again she would take up her tambourine and dance with the joyful. God gave me this verse when my heart had been shattered...when my life was pretty much in ruins and I couldn't believe for the life of me that smiles would ever come easy again or that joy would ever befriend me. So when I got here to CIU, I wrote that verse on my whiteboard that sits on my desk to remind me daily of what I believe He had promised me.

Tonight as I sat there bursting with joy, I realized...the prophecy has been fulfilled. Now, this by no means implies that I have got it all figured out and that another hard day will never come. On the contrary, joy proves its presence in the difficult times...it is not a fairweather friend! In fact, today was an incredibly stressful day, but underneath all that stress was joy. And it has hit me that though I know God is still building me up and making me the way He wants me to be...that He has drawn me with His loving-kindness...He has placed me in this environment that is safe and full of people who simply love me the way I am. That is His love shining through them. He has allowed me, through many outlets to be built back up to a place where I don't have to struggle everyday when I wake up to make it through the day or just to smile. When I thought about it, I realized that there was about a 6 month period last year when I didn't smile...at all. But He is the God of healing. He has indeed given me the ability to take up my tambourine and dance with the joyful. I have longed for this...for over a year now. And just tonight I realized that He has been so faithful. Always so faithful. Working quietly behind the scenes to heal me with His love.

So as things are winding down here for my first year, I am thankful. Thankful for the friends that God has so richly blessed me with here. Thankful that though I am still rather clueless about what is next in my life, that He has it under control and will work things out. Thankful that I have had the time with these that I love and in 9 days get to go be with others that I love for a short time before heading out to yet another "home" in Senegal. He is so good...I cannot imagine this life without Him...the hope that He instills in me is lifegiving...it keesp me going when nothing makes sense. He is just so faithful...regardless of the situation.