So tonight was an interesting night. I got nothing done that I should have, but did everything that I needed to. Funny how that works out. Basically, what it comes down to was I got to spend quality time with my housemates and that to me is worth a sleepless night. Ha, guess its obvious what my "love language" is! :)

Anyhow, tonight I was thinking about a dog that I played frisbee with last year (I know, I really will play frisbee with ANYONE!)...anyhow, this dog would catch the frisbee, but then either not bring it back...or she would bring it to me, but then not let go. And whereas it is dangerous to compare myself to a dog, I'm going to venture out and do just that.

I fear I am not so unlike her. God gives me a perfectly beautiful gift and then I run off with it and refuse to give it back to Him...or even if I do get it to His loving hands, I won't let go, I'll still wrestle Him for it. I feel, for some reason, like God is about to turn my world upsidedown...and I can't put my finger on why I feel this way or what it is necessarily about. But I do know that about a month ago, someone close to me challenged me in a significant area of my life...and ever since then, questions have been running around like mad in my mind, refusing to stop and rest. Which of course, drives me to my knees before my Abba. But as is normal with our relationship, He doesn't tell me what He is doing, but only assures me that He loves me and is worthy of my trust...so I can follow Him. And I will...but I can't help be a little curious as to what He is up to...and a little concerned that it may require giving up something that I have held tightly to for at least 4 years now. But I guess I can rest assured that if He calls me to it, it is worth the pain of letting go.

I guess some days I feel like I am still learning the trust game with Him (I suppose I always will be). And I am ever so thankful He is such a patient teacher...because I am often a very slow learner!