It looks and feels like rain today. A friend called me to let me know that we are going to get hit with the residual stuff of Katrina. Fun times. I'm all registered for classes, have about half of my books, and its all paid for. I'm set, I guess is what I'm saying...

A few adventures...
Last night we found our "attic" when we walked in the house. It was a great surprise because none of us really realized it was there. Great place to store stuff.

I now have electricity in my room! For the first several days that I was here, the breaker was messed up...so I felt like I was living in Dakar again! However, it is now back up and running! Very exciting.

I have found Walmart...and some good eating establishments...and possibly a mall...though I have yet to find a real grocery store! Maybe today that will happen as well.

Classes start on Thursday...oh, get this. So yesterday we all had to take a survey about the school and why we came here and the like...so the first question about why we came here that we had to rate on an importance scale of 1-5 was "To find a spouse." This really is a different world! Hehe.

Ok, well, I am going to try to get home before the rain hits! More to come in the following days!

Greetings from Columbia, SC!!

I have made it and am settled into the house...I have 3 really wonderful housemates, thus far...with one on the way on Monday (we think). We have been doing orientation stuff and will do that until Monday...then classes start on Wednesday...and I don't have any classes until Thursday! My roomie, Amy, and I just decided to see what we could do about getting online as we have both been a bit anxious to do so!

So initial thoughts...WOW, this place is SMALL!!! haha. I guess coming from UIowa, that would make sense. It was really weird to drive up yesterday and check in and move in...sort of had me wondering what on earth I was getting myself into...college, again! I've met some really great girls through some smaller group stuff that we do, but I'm anxious for the routine of classes to start and friendships to start settling in a little more. I heard a rumor that there is an intermural ultimate frisbee team, so needless to say that got me excited...and I have also come to find out that there are a lot of different opportunities ministry-wise with the USC campus that is just downtown. I sort of miss the secular college kids...and wanted to somehow get involved wtih them again, so it sounds like there are some options there. Don't want to be stuck in a "Christian bubble"...but one thing I do love is that everyone here seems really genuine.

I guess you might say I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with it all...found out that there is going to be A LOT of studying. :) I'm not sure how a job will fit in, but I know it will all work out. Anyhow, just wanted to update this thing to let you know I made it and whatnot...I'll have pics up when I have normal access to the internet.

I finally got to go up to CIU today to see the campus with my friend, Jennifer. I must admit, it is not what I expected at all...it's very small! But I also got to see the outside of my house, and I'm very excited about that part...I think I have already scoped out a few places where I will be spending as much time as I can...outside! It's really beautiful. Autumn will be incredible. Not only have I not seen it for 2 years, but now I am in a beautiful part of the US to see it! Giddy up! So tomorrow I am leaving here at about 8am to finally move in and start seminary. I can't believe its finally here. I'm excited and nervous and just a bundle of other emotions that I don't feel like writing out. :)

Today as I was riding around with my friend, Jennifer, I realized just how thankful I was that she and her family are here. I know it wasn't their plan to be here...but it sure has served as a huge encouragement to me that they are. Today was overall an encouraging day. Those are nice once in a while. :) Many high's (too many to list) and only one low (a nasty rainstorm that I hit on the way back to GA).

Let the journey begin!!

When there’s nothing to believe in, I believe in you
Forget the past and let my hand in yours be the proof
Though the strong could be my company you’re the one I choose
So remember, I believe in you

I know it feels like every eye is watching you
Waiting for you to fall, expecting you to lose
But I see victory, so all you have to do
Is remember I believe in you

I believe even when I see you crying
I believe, let me dream for you
When nothing comes from trying
Remember, I believe in you

There will come a day when love will lift you out of here
There will come a day when love will bring the truth
There will come a day when love will free you from your fear
And you’ll remember I believe in you
--Bethany Dillon, "I Believe in You"

I love the words to this song. I have listened to it much over the last few days of endless driving. I love the imagery of God singing this over me. I think over my life and where God has brought me from...and especially in regards to this last year to see how He never gave up on me...but He dreamed for me. Sometimes I fall into that trap of putting too much emphasis on what other people think of me as opposed to what God thinks of me. I want other people affirm me more than I want God to affirm me. But the fact of the matter is, people will fail...and God never will. God always believes in us...He has promised to finish the good work He has started in us...and He will be faithful to that promise, even when things are unclear and messy. As you can maybe tell if you have read my blogs in the past or know me at all, I have much on my mind. I would appreciate your prayers for wisdom and for peace. Transitions are hard...and this one is proving harder than I had anticipated.

Well, here I am in the deep south...I'm staying with my cousin and her family for a couple of days before heading up to CIU to move in on Thursday. Yesterday was a very, very long day of driving. I think I was on the road for about 12 hours, but that includes a stop at a rest area for about 45 minutes to take a break and hear a friendly voice on the phone...and I was tempted just to stay there! I was about 20 minutes from Chatanooga and right in the foothills of the Appalachains...sitting in front of a huge lake with the foothills in the background..it was gorgeous!! Anyhow, tomorrow I'm headed up to CIU to visit a friend and then back here to go back up on Thursday to finally move in. Ok, just thought I'd let you all know I've made it this far.

**I have new pics up in the "Photos" section under Iowa and then "Trip to Indy", be sure to check those out!!

Today, Jim, Susie, and I went to the Indy Zoo...it was a fun day...lots of animals and butterflies! I think the penguins were my favorite of the whole day...you DA people can appreciate the laughter I had when I thought of the senior guys while looking at the penguins. :)

Flamingos at the zoo...they are pink and their legs bend the wrong way. How fun...Eli, enjoy! :)

So I am sitting in Jim and Susie's gameroom...I thought I should update this while I have a moment. The drive out here was pretty uneventful...highlights of that trip? Well, I found out that Indiana has a 70 mph speed limit as well as Iowa...so I was very excited about that. To my Senegal friends, I realized after a brief moment of totally freaking out, that indeed I do not need the little white adapter for my computer...don't know what brought that on...but there it was. Also, I was thankful beyond imagination for the radio being all in English. No more of the "Nostalgie" with the random American music, some of which is not "the best in taste", but was listened to for the mere fact that it was English. So I was pumped about being able to find any type of music in English. Weird, I think it was a bit culture shock, just a few months late. :)

So since I have been here we have been hanging out...we went shopping today for baby stuff (no, not for me!), Sus is due in Feb...(secretly I am hoping she holds out 3 days past her due date so that I have a wonderful birthday gift)...so that has been...good. A little odd for someone in my shoes, but fun nonetheless. :) Then tonight we went to a "Fever" women's basketball game in Indy. It was a pretty fun time...made me realize that I am a die hard college guys basketball fan more so than a women's basketball fan...but it was a good time. :) Tomorrow is the zoo. Flamingos :) ...giraffes...monkeys....dolphins (as Sus says "360 degrees of dolphins!"--apparently there is an underwater dome!)...giddy up!!

I guess that's it for now...on Monday I am on my way to Georgia to stay with my great cuz and her family. That is going to be a long drive. That's it for now!

One would tend to think that this whole saying goodbye thing would get easier the more times one does it...but one would be wrong. I very much hate saying goodbye...and of course, some goodbyes are always harder than others. But nonetheless, it's here...and I'm hoping to be on the road in about an hour. So, I have to throw everything in my car and fill it up with gas and then I'm on my way. Next stop, Indy. Giddy up! :)

It seems that what I have been looking forward to since I graduated from Iowa in 2000 is finally upon me...and finds me a little hesitant this afternoon. I guess it's a normal thing to experience all these doubts flying through my mind at what I am about to venture off to do. Even though I know it is the right thing, which, by God's grace, is what keeps me moving foward. I wouldn't want my life any other way than to follow where ever God leads me...I think times like now, when I am getting ready to uproot again, I just sort of wish He's lead me somewhere where I can grow roots and stay. But as of now, that's not where He has me, and may never have me. I guess it just keeps me on my toes, depending on Him all the more. But despite all the thoughts and emotions I'm having today (yes, I know I over think things and am over emotional sometimes!), I am looking forward to this adventure, I just have to get past the goodbyes and get on my way. So, dependence is the word for the day. Depending on God to carry me through and lead me where He wants me.

...Later...
So it's funny how God answers prayers that we don't even pray. All today I was dreading my move to SC bc I don't know anyone there and I just, well, I'm just being a girl, I suppose some would say. :) Anyhow, after I sent out an email, a very dear friend of mine from Dakar wrote me back and said that her and her family are still in the Columbia area raising more support until Dec/Jan...so whereas its not the "roots" I wanted, its good enough for me! So I will get to spend some time with their family before they head back to Dakar...I love just having a family so near by that I will be able to hang out with for awhile while I make this next transition (and of course my cousin who is also not so far away). Ok, I know it already, but times like these just make it more clear--God is soooo good.

Frodo: "Remember what Bilbo used to say:
It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door.
You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet,
there's no knowing where you might be swept off to..."

I promise I am not obsessed with this movie. It just really has some great quotes. This one has been rumbling through my head as of late. Life is funny like that...you step out that door and only the Lord knows where you will end up! It's great really, that is if you like adventure...and I usually do...so I guess its good. :) Ten years ago if you told me I would have lived in West Africa for two years and was on my way to moving to SC in a few days, I would have laughed...but despite the hard times and the many goodbyes...its all worth it. I could not have asked for anything better.

I often say that I make my plans in jello. That is true anymore. After this last year and letting go of some dreams I held pretty tight, I realized that I can't hold on that tightly in life. Gotta hold things with my palms open. Last night a close friend of mine and I were walking a trail out at MacBride and it was dark, so we couldn't see. We had to focus on what was right in front of us in order not to get lost or go off the trail or trip. I think I would like to be a planner...I like to have things figured out many times far in advance. However, that's just not how it works...at least in my life its not. Ah, so many thoughts here...but none I will go into. So, the order of things are: We never know where life will take us...but its an adventure! And, plans made in jello. :) Oh yeah, and life is more fun with people to walk the path with.

(Be sure to check out the new "Misc" page...Cori, you especially!)

(Ok, I also updated the "Photos" section...under Iowa, "BBQ" and "Family")

There’s a cricket in my room
Who’s sure to meet his doom
He looked at me with those beady black eyes
And jumped at me to add to the surprise
He does not belong here, he surely must know
But I would not be the one to deal the final blow
I ran upstairs to get away
Looking for Dad to save the day
He looked at me in disbelief
But went downstairs to my relief
He snuck quietly as good soldiers do
But alas, the cricket, he snuck quietly, too
He was no where in sight
Neither to the left nor to the right
So my dad retreated
And I have been defeated
So the cricket hides and waits for just the right time
‘Til I am alone to commit his crime

Today is a gorgeous day outside (though very frigid in our house, I'm still a wimp when it comes to AC!!)...I got to have lunch with a close buddy of mine, chase my brother around the house over a can of cashews, and for the first time in weeks, I feel motivated to get packed and finished with various projects I have going on here at home. You know, I hate the darkness when it is upon me, but when the light shines, it is so much more clear and welcome. As my friend Phil told me last night, its about contrasts...you wouldn't be able to tell if something were smooth unless you had something that were bumpy with lots of ups and downs. He is right. I am blessed with amazing friends. I am blessed with a crazy, but wonderful family. Its just a new day that I am thankful for...and thankful for the lightness of joy.

"Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland."
Isaiah 43:18-19

A friend shared this verse with me a couple weeks ago as one that has really helped her move forward in her life from a painful situation. I guess it speaks for itself...but I love the hope that is found in the words.

My niece broke her arm and got it casted today. I think she is my new hero, she is quite the trooper...look, freshly casted and a smile on her face. Her biggest concern about the cast? No, its not that school starts next week...instead, in true Page fashion, she is most worried about how she is going to fish this next week while she stays at Gma and Gpa's.

'Tis the season....for transition and all that goes with it. It seems that I inevitably go through a time of what we will call "forgetfulness". I lose things left and right. If you have been with me when I am going through this (Cori and Ade!) then you certainly know what I am talking about. I can put something down and turn around and for the life of me have no idea where it went. It's a bit ridiculous and sometimes frustrating to the point of laughter to avoid tears!

Tonight I was getting ready to go out for a walk to clear my mind and just to talk with God and think about some things that have been consuming my thoughts. I had just seen my mp3 player earlier today and ended up looking for it for about 15 minutes before I was finally able to head out. Yesterday I had on a pair of flip flops...I put them on so I would not lose them...and when I went back upstairs to leave, they were no longer on my feet and even better, I had no idea where they were! I didn't find them until today.

Gotta love the season of transition. I think I'm losing my mind!!

Walk towards me
I want to hear
The heavens singing over you
When you breathe
And look at me
I want to be captured by you

Gaze into my eyes
And let me know you’d fight
Thousands, for my love
Slip your hand in mine
Ask me to dance with you tonight
Just ask me for my love

I want to hide
What’s deep in my eyes
I’m scared to be known by you
But when I turn my head
And see you there
I want to be pursued

A dream I won’t wake from
A story that will never end
The ground your feet walk on
Let me be there, let me be there

--Bethany Dillon
"For My Love"

I have been listening to this song a lot in the last month or so...I love the words. It so accurately portrays what a girl wants deep down...someone to pursue her and love her purely. I love the imagery that Bethany uses with a guy walking across a room and choosing her to dance with. Out of all the other girls, he wants to dance with her. And whereas I know I long for that kind of love story on a human level, it happpens with God every single day. Every day He pursues me with reckless abandon and looks into my eyes and asks me to dance with Him. I wish I could say that everyday I accepted His hand and moved to the dance floor...but some days I come up with the most pathetic excuses...I'm too tired or I'm too busy or some other thing...and that breaks the heart of God. I can picture a guy watching a girl all night and finally working up the courage to walk across a room and asking a girl to dance and she says, "No, I'm too tired." I can picture the rejected look in his eyes and can't help but think that on some completely other level, that's how God feels everytime I don't accept His offer to dance. Life is a beautiful thing and sometimes I get too caught up in other things to realize that God truly is pursuing me every single day in every situation. He chooses me. He chooses you. And He's not a picky dance partner, He knows how to lead and will teach us to follow that lead.

"Vulnerability is a measure of our capacity to be wounded, which, in turn, measures our capacity to love. The fortress that is invulnerable is safe but cold, and the life within it, cut off from the outside world, cannot be sustained. But being made vulnerable against your will is invasion, violence, abuse. Part of following in Jesus' path is choosing the wounds that will come with love lived out in the world. Empowered vulnerability, as Flora Slosson Wuellner calls it, is choosing love's risks. This is the vulnerability of dying with Christ and rising through him, because the power of love is stronger than the power of death."

Just something for you all to chew on...my mind has been grinding away on this one, trying to swallow it. Vulnerability is a tough thing for me sometimes...harder lately, but I know it's soo necessary in our lives. I was thinking about how vulnerable Jesus was when He wept. I have read that story so many times lately because I love that about Him. He was so human...yet completely God at the same time.

I decided to let Cori write my blog today from none other than the big city of Joliet...here she is!!!

Well, hello. So, I've never done this before, but I am told that it's not too hard, so here goes. This morning I woke up in the chilly town of Edmonton, Alberta and packed up the rest of my belongings to start on a very LONG trip to Senegal. Upon arrival at the airport, I was met by a not so helpful man at the desk. He informed me that a camping chair is illegal to take as a carryon item. I was sad. I love my chair. So, he told me that I could choose to either pay for an extra bag or leave it behind. I struggled inwardly with my decision trying to remain stoic on the outside. Finally, I announced my decision to this man- I will leave the chair behind. He then informed me that I must pass through the customs line IMMEDIATELY because I had checked in. I still had about an hour till I had to board and my grandparents and brother looked at me sadly. So, we stood there for about half an hour much to the man's unhappiness. Finally, I passed through the gates after bidding farewell to my family. The remainder of my journey was uneventful until reaching Chicago and taking my luggage up and down and up and down elevators to get to the train that Sara said was "just upstairs". She really does need her compass to tell where she is going. Now I am resting here in a lovely hotel room, thankful to have a place to rest my head for the night other than an airport bench. So, that's all I have to say about that.

Here are a few things I love about Iowa City:

--the river
--feeding the ducks by the river (with good company)
--Whitey's ice cream
--Micky's burger baskets
--walking on the campus in the evening
--the way the old capitol is lit up at night
--the ped mall and all the different people there.
--friends I have had forever, and friends I am just now getting to know better

I'm heading to Chicagoland tomorrow to see Cori before she flies on to Dakar. It's going to be bittersweet, I'm sure. I'm dreading the actual drive, Chicago stresses me out...but seeing Cori will be good. So if you think of it, pray for safety...Chicago really scares me!! :)

HAPPY 35th BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAR BIG BROTHER, AARON. :)

Thanks for your prayers about speaking this morning in church...it all went really well and I got to meet some of the most wonderful sisters and brothers in Christ that I have run across. Really, it was great.

Does anyone know the word I am looking for here...it needs to describe the following: really excited yet calm, hopeful yet cautious, and baffled yet completely at peace?

Tonight and last night I read through some of my old blogs. It makes me laugh and want to cry at the same time at some of the things I said I was looking forward to about coming home this summer. For instance, I mentioned about how my sweatpants always had a layer of dirt on the cuffs due to dirty floors and living in a desert...and how in America, it wasn't that way...and yep, sure enough, I'm wearing the same pants I was talking about then...and...no dirt! :) I must confess that carpet is quite a lovely invention. I have slept on the floor a number of times and find myself always sprawled out with whatever project I am working on on the floor. The frogs conversing outside my window are also as soothing as I remember. America is very nice in some ways. :)

It was also really neat to see how God was working even in some of the hardest times this last year. Granted, I didn't write anything prior to second semester and I don't really remember first semester at all...but it struck me how He was giving me strength to carry through each day, day at a time. He was the One holding me together when I was simply falling apart. He was the one who knew the meaning behind all of my words. He is the One who loved me when I was unlovable. And the beauty of all this is, He never changes. His character is love. And that will not change.

Do you ever just have too many thoughts? You don't know where to start...and so its easier just not to start. :) That is my thought for the day.

One thing, it worries me that I spent the last 2 years teaching, specifically math. Reason? I just had about 500 pics from the last two years printed and I bought 2 photo albums that each hold about 200 pics, fully thinking that they would easily fit. Does anyone else see the problem here? It makes me worry some about the two groups of kids that I taught!

Oh, one more thing, I heard from two of my four future housemates for this next year at CIU. I'm really excited. Amy has been living in Taiwan for the last 4.5 years and likes 24 (I am also a big fan!) and Rachel is from Korea and has been at CIU for a semester. This year at CIU is going to be great...I'm soo looking forward to a new community of people. :)

Today it finally hit me that I am not going back to Dakar. I got to have lunch with a dear friend of mine, Eli, who spent the last two months in Turkey. He shared with me some of his experiences and I was also able to share some of my own. It was the first time since being back that I have really processed anything aside from other "issues" that I had to deal with upon my return to the States. And I realized just how much I miss it. I am going to Chicago next week to see Cori off...but not to go with her. I wondered when I left Senegal if it would hit me right away or in August when I should be returning that I am not...now I know. I am homesick for Dakar...I am homesick for the culture...the little things that meant the world to me...and for my "family" there.

All that being said, I am thankful for this ache in my heart...it reminds me that what I am really homesick for is my real Home. I look forward to the day when I will be Home and there will be a sweet reunion with all of my brothers and sisters from around the world...no more moving...no more goodbyes...and no more tears. And we all get to be with Dad in our Home there. So whereas I miss Dakar, I long for my true Home.

**I FINALLY have pics up in the "Photos" section of the trip to Florida and also Des Moines.

Today I was struck by something as I sat here in my parent's kitchen working on some stuff online and looking out the window at the sparrows on the bird feeder. These little guys have no shame. They want food, they come to our house, they enjoy the birdfeeder to the full. Literally...I have to refill the thing about every other day...and there is one little guy that manages to get inside of it and eat, rather than eating from the outside like the rest of them. Shameless sparrows. They make me laugh.

In all the places I have been in this world, I have found that sparrows are everywhere. Other birds, I don't see in other places, such as the cardinal or goldfinch. But sparrows...they are everywhere. Kind of cool considering that was the bird that Jesus used when He spoke of not worrying about tomorrow. That's just a sidenote.

But these birds, they really don't worry about tomorrow...they simply show up at our house and eat as much as they like...they don't store anything away (believe me, sometimes I wonder how they can even manage to fly when they are done!)...they make the most of the food given them. And isn't that really what we are supposed to do with Jesus? I mean, aren't we just supposed to fill up on what He has given us? I'm talking primarily of His love for us...He showers it on us...and we just have to accept it...like these sparrows. I mean, can you imagine a sparrow saying to another sparrow, "I see that food, but I don't know if it's really for me, so I'll just stay here and starve." No way, they just go for it and soak it in. I love that...I want more of that in my own life!

Pippin: "It's so quiet..."
Gandalf: "It's the deep breath before the plunge."

Ok, so if you know me a little, you perhaps know that I am a Lord of the Rings fan. Nothing overboard or crazy, mind you, I just like the movies and even better, the books. There are some great quotes from those movies...and this is one of my favorites.

It also happens to hit me where I am right now. 18 days. I leave home again in 18 days to make SC my home for the next 2 years at least. It's so quiet here. It's funny to hear people say to me, "Why do you have to leave again?" and then I don't see them again for weeks. It's all fine and good, it just gets real quiet here sometimes. I guess that is the "downer" side of things. The wonderful side, things are so quiet in my heart. For the first time in months...nearly one year to be exact, things are quiet in my heart. Joy has again come in and filled it...it's such a foreign feeling, yet so welcome. But it's a quiet joy that surrounds me...a certain peace that transcends my understanding. Perhaps it is the "deep breath before the plunge" at this point in my life...but I welcome it...this quietness of heart. The plunge will be here soon...a new start. New opportunities that I crave. New things to learn. New people. New surroundings. This plunge is well worth it, whatever may come, I'm so thankful for this opportunity. I love rollercoasters...there is that split second at the top of the hill where you intake as much air as you can before you plummet down...it gets me everytime, but I love the thrill of it all. I love the thrill of this new adventure that is just starting.