Here are a few pics from my trip this weekend. This is Kasey and I. :)

Kasey and Sam. Such cute newlyweds. :)

Me, my buddy Andy, and his wife Laura. :)

So it's about 1:15am here in Des Moines and I am lying here, still awake, in Kasey and Sam's living room. Just being really thankful for such amazing friends. I played clue with the newlyweds last night for the second time in my life. The twist? It was the Simpson's Clue...great fun. I found out that the three of us share a common interest with the Simpsons. :) My buddy Derek and I used to sit for hours watching Simpsons on video when I was finished with work and him with school. Great times.

Tomorrow I get to see my buddy Andy and meet his wife Laura...its just crazy how everyone is growing up and moving on! It's hard to deal with sometimes, but lately, God has given me so much joy in watching my newly married friends and how they interact with each other. Maybe some day for me. If not, those creme cheese mints on my 30th birthday will be positively delightful (Jerry and Brina, I'm holding you to that!)!!

Well, I really have nothing worthwhile to say and my alarm will be going off bright and early. Wow...20 days until I leave for SC. God is good to make way for this dream...no matter what it took to get here, I know that this will be better than the small dream I had. Well, small to Him anyhow. ;)

Good night!

Giddy up! This afternoon I am heading out for the weekend to the big city of Des Moines to catch up with some folks there. I get to see my college roommate Brina, my Uganda friend Kasey, and my all-my-life buddy Andy (who is going to be a daddy soon!) and meet his wonderful wife Laura at long last. :)

I love roadtrips. I love seeing old friends.

Something I don't love...finding out I live with 30 miles of a nuclear power plant. Ignorance is bliss, that is no lie. I have lived in ignorance for the last 20 years and was perfectly content doing so! Last night my buddy Jerry and I went to visit the newlyweds, Micah and Julie, who live within just a few miles of this plant. We found out that they would be vaporized instantly...and where I live, well, we have a grand total of about 60 seconds warning. Giddy up. South Carolina is starting to sound even better! Haha.

Hope you all have a fantastic weekend!

He let this happen.
He let the dream shatter before her very eyes.
He seemingly vanished in the darkness.
He allowed other things to make it darker.
He let His child become broken.
Broken for all to see.

But His hand moved in love.
The dream shattering opened up a bright future of new hope.
The darkness made way for radiant light.
Other things pushed her to hold to trust when it made no sense.
He broke His child because He loved her.
And He deepened her love for Him, that all may see His goodness.

Tonight I began the overwhelming task of going through all my "junk" that has been in storage for the last two years and getting rid of as much as I possibly can...this whole being in transition all the time does not allow for so much stuff! Anyhow, I ran across a journal from my first year in Senegal and on the back cover, I had written down a poem that a dear friend wrote for me before I left Iowa in 2003. As I was reading it tonight, I was encouraged by it and touched at the prophetic words in it that I will make note of below. I love this poem. Not just because a dear friend wrote it for me, but also for it's words that constantly point me to my first Love...a Love that never fails though all others may. I hope my friend doesn't mind me sharing this with whoever checks this site. :)

Never forget that you are God's Princess.
The beautiful bride always in waiting,
In hopeful anticipation of her King.
Never lose your joy in hope,
And don't let your zeal be quenched,
Fan it ever with truth and action.
Never fear, but be bold for your King,
The Lord you can never deny, or deny you,
However hard this world tells you to.
Love Him, because He is life and love itself.

Ok, it was a pretty lonely day here. I stayed home all day working on things, except for two outings...one to Cost Cutters to cut my hair and one to Walmart to get some things and make an eye appointment. People are funny. Here are two things that made me laugh today...

1) The lady who cut my hair asking me, "Do you flat iron your hair every morning or is it really just this straight?"

2) The guy at the vision center in Walmart who, while making me an appointment for tomorrow because he would be there, was flirting shamelessly...until my dad walked up behind me! :)

"Ooh!" said Susan. "I'd thought he was a man. Is he-quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion."
"That you will, dearie, and no mistake,"' said Mrs. Beaver; "if there's anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they're either braver than most or just silly."
"Then he isn't safe?" said Lucy.
"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver; "don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."

--"The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" by CS Lewis

Enough said. I couldn't say it any better.

We just got back from our vacation to the sunny land of Florida. I can honestly say that I am ever so thankful to be back. It was an emotionally draining trip for me, and there is just something sweet about being welcome home by the Iowa nights that are sweet with the scent of corn growing all around. I always welcome the squared off patches of greens from the air.

Funny thing. On the last leg of the flight, I sat by a guy who was roughly my age and pretty good looking. Enough so that I was intimidated and didn't want to talk to him. Anyhow, we eventually started chatting and it ends up that his uncle is with New Tribes Mission (the mission I went to Senegal with) and living in Senegal!! It's just crazy how small the world really is when you get down to it.

Anyhow, I'm thankful to be home. A few more weeks and I'll be heading off to SC...a new adventure. A new chapter of this thing called life.


I whispered goodbye
I don't think you heard.
But the waves rolled in
And absorbed every word.

Goodbye.

So today was probably my last day at work. I guess I should feel sad or something, but actually, I'm quite happy. It wasn't a bad job...and I really liked the people I worked with...but my back and hands can't handle much more and I look forward to having a couple weeks to gather my thoughts and myself before moving on.

Anyhow, today I met some people at lunch time and was able to share with them about Senegal and what I was doing there. It was really nice and I almost wish I were going to be there longer so I could talk with them more. But alas, it is not to be. Anywho, I was reading a new book I got called "Searching for God Knows What" by Don Miller. It's another of the interesting, but good, books. He was talking about the fear of God and I got to thinking about that and how I don't ever really ponder the "fear of God". And when I look at my life and get honest with myself, I don't really "fear God" a lot as shown in my actions. I know that this "fear" talks primarily of a reverence...but these couple lines from his book 1) made me think and 2) cracked me up. Read on if you wish...

"Everybody who met God in the Bible was afraid of Him. People were afraid of even the angels, so the angels always had to calm people down just to have a conversation. I would think that would be very annoying if you were an angel, always having to settle people down just to talk. It makes you wonder if the first thousand years in heaven will have us running around screaming like we would during an earthquake, the whole time God saying to us in an enormous, booming voice, Calm down, calm down, will you, it's just Me."

and

"It seems like, if you really knew the God who understands the physics of our existence, you would operate a little more cautiously, a little more compassionately, a little less like you are the center of the universe."

So the beautiful part of God is that yeah, we are to "fear" Him...and if we aren't on His side, then yeah, we have reason to seriously be a little afraid. He's huge. And that isn't even close to what He really is. But the beautiful part comes in the grace that He has for us, so we don't have to live like the ancients who were always terrified of what their gods would do if they didn't do this, that, or the other thing. God gives us grace. We try something for Him, screw up, and He looks at us patiently and lovingly and helps us get back on track. I've heard a lot lately about God and Jesus and how we put Him into our own boxes...but really, He doesn't fit in any one box. He's too big and too wonderful for one box. I think for myself, I just need to ask Him to show me more of Him and who He is. And I just need to stand in awe of who I see Him as and then realize that there is sooo much more that I don't know about Him yet. Heaven will be a cool place, I used to think that we would just know everything when we got there. Then I realized that if we knew everything, we would be like God...so then it hit me that I'm thankful I'm curious and I hope I get to take that with me to Heaven...because I have a lot of questions for God and I'm sure His answers will only lead to more questions. But to know that we get to be with Him forever when we accept His Son is such a gift. I love sleeping peacefully at night knowing that if I don't wake up here, then I wake up there.

So there are a few, not overly in depth, thoughts about fearing God. Try it. Just stand in awe of who He is. I have found that when you ask Him to show Himself to you in a new way, He will. But be ready for whatever that includes...it's not always pretty...but He accomplishes what He sets out to do in His own ways. And if you don't "know" God personally...then just go outside and look around at what He has created...and understand that it is not an accident...it was very on purpose and from the mind of the most creative Being who has an infinite love for you.

And with that I say, have a good week.

My dad had me read this the other day...I thought it was really neat...so I pass it on to you.

A university professor challenged his students with this question. Did God create everything that exists? A student bravely replied, "Yes, he did!"

"God created everything?" The professor asked.

"Yes, sir," the student reconfirmed. The professor answered, "If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are then God is evil."

The student became quiet after such a response..

The professor was quite pleased with himself and boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth (OOOhh, no he didn't!!!!!!).

Another student raised his hand and said, "Can I ask you a question professor?"

"Of course," replied the professor.

The student stood up and asked, "Professor, does cold exist?"

"What kind of question is this? Of course, it exists. Have you never been cold?"

The students snickered at the young man's question.

The young man replied, "In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat. Everybody or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-460 degrees F) is the total absence of heat; all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature.

Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat.

The student continued. "Professor, does darkness exist?"

The professor responded, "Of course it does."

The student replied, "Once again you are wrong sir, darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not
darkness. In fact we can use Newton's prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn't this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present."

Finally the young man asked the professor. "Sir, does evil exist?"

Now uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course as I have already said. We see it every day. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. "These manifestations are nothing else but evil."

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is not like faith, or love that exist just as does light and heat. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down. The young man's name?

Albert Einstein.

This weekend, my friend Becky and I drove down to see our friend Matt in Omaha, NE. I had never been to Nebraska before...I think I like Omaha...and we had some pretty good times. :)

We had some serious fun with Matt's hair last night. Hehe...:)

Becky and Matt at lunch this morning. :)

Me and Matteo in the park. :)

Here are the three of us at a pizza place in Omaha. I'll be putting the rest of the piccs online either today or tomorrow...so you can check those out in the photo section under "Iowa" and then "Omaha Trip". :)

"A page is turned in this world to reveal a little girl
With a heart that's bigger, as it is unfurled
By the language in her soul, that's teaching her to grow
With a careful cover of love that will not fail
And the God of second chance
Picked her up and He let her dance
Through a world that isn't kind"
-Bebo Norman "A Page is Turned"

"So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the pain
And hurt a little, hurt for me, my future is so bold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds
This task before me may seem unclear
But it, my maker holds"
-Bebo Norman "The Hammer Holds"

This night I found myself out driving around with my windows down and my heater on my feet. I just needed to get away. I just needed to think. I pulled over by the lake at one point in hopes of just sitting and taking in the peacefulness...that it would somehow just settle over me by some form of osmosis and calm my thoughts. I sat there for about 3 minutes, an absolutely beautiful summer night, and could not sit any longer. My thoughts could not focus. I don't know if its a tired restlessness or a different kind...knowing that a very difficult day is coming up very soon. This world is not kind. I used to listen to "A Page is Turned" with hope of God hearing my cries and answering the way I wanted Him to. He didn't. I can't listen to that song anymore. But I suppose if that were the worst of it, that would be no problem. :) I guess the thing with dancing is that sometimes you fall and hurt yourself. Sometimes your partner steps on your toes and hurts you. So you just pick yourself off, take the hand of the Father and dance elsewhere. "My dreams are not the issue here..." This life is not about me. I forget that all the time. My dreams are so important to me...but as I was reminded today "my ways are not His ways..." The task before me is very unclear...other than the basics...but my Maker holds it...and in that I have to rest..."He MAKES us lie down in green pastures..." A good shepherd will make his sheep lie down. When I get to the end of me, all I have is Him...I just wish I weren't so stubborn to have to keep getting to the point of being at the end of me. A difficult day lies ahead...nine days to be exact. But I'm thankful that though others walk away, He is with me and holding me through it. And when we get through that, maybe again I can breathe deep and take another step forward. I just want to move forward.

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

--Albert Einstein

I was sitting down by the river tonight with my friend Greg just enjoying his company and the sounds of the night and watching a few healthy people run or ride their bikes by when all of the sudden he sort of sat up and said, "Ahhh" just as I was looking up...to see none other than a falling star. Well, we debated for a brief moment about whether it was really a falling star or if it was the remenant of some firework...but just as quickly decided it was a falling star. It was really bright and trailed for quite awhile since I had time to look up and see it. It took me back to another night a few years ago when I was sitting talking with my friend Steph in Uganda and we watched a star streak across the whole sky before fading away.

I ran across the above quote tonight when I took a look at boundless.org...and immediately fell in love with it and had to share it. Everything in life is a miracle if you really think about it. The Creator gives us life and breath each day...which is a miracle in itself if you remember that He's not just doing it for you...but also for all the other how-ever-many billion people in the world...whether we thank Him for it or not...whether we recognize it is Him or not...He is the One doing it. If I sit here and really break things down in life...everything is a miracle. My friends that God has given me...my family...the experiences I have...the frogs in the pond in my backyard that love to converse in the evening in a way that soothes me and reminds me that this is "home"...there are so many little things. I love simplicity...I love nature...maybe its just because I can see God's hand so much clearer when I get away from all the man-made stuff and just truly enjoy what He has done...but no matter what it is, when you really get down to it, its all a miracle. And you would think that would take away from the big miracles...but I don't think so...I think that it just makes it all the more awesome...and creates so many more opportunities to stand in awe of all that is around us.

In the summer of 2002, ten of us sat around in a room in Kampala, Uganda with our team leader, Alan, leading us through a debriefing. He talked about things such as "re-inculturation" and "shelf life"...we were challenged to think on all the things we had learned in the 5 weeks we spent in rural Uganda and to take them to heart. Most lessons have a certain shelf life where it is of utter importance to really implement the lesson in your life or it will fade away as you get re-inculturated to the States. That thought has been roaming around my head lately.

In the last week, its like God took a spot light and just shined it into the fog of my life and made some things really clear about this last year. I have felt a joy creeping in that seems almost foreign to me as I have not experienced it for sooo long. I can't help but laugh at the simplicity of the things He has used to soften me up. He has used a book, a CD, and some good friends. It's crazy, really. I wish I could share on here all the things I am learning, but I'm not willing to step out like that right now for fear that I will say something and have it taken the wrong way.

It's strange, I feel so different than I did even the last time I was home last summer...I am seeing my life and life in general through entirely different eyes. And its such a beautiful thing. Painful, but beautiful nonetheless. I finished another book today. Here are a few things from the last few chapters that I want to share with you...

"God redeems our pain and sorrow. Nothing that has happened to us is lost in His hands."

"When we offer the painful things in life to God, He is able to bless them and bring hope and life to others through our brokenness."

"God gives us a new beginning only when His grace is there so we can accept it and walk in it."

"Following Christ is a direct call to let go of our human need to understand everything and trust God."

"Those who were able to bring their doubts and fears, into the presence of God, and who truly wrestled with their faith, found a faith that could withstand anything. Doubts unexpressed isolate us and drive us from the heart of God. God's heart is big enough to carry whatever burden you are bearing."

-Sheila Walsh, "Extraordinary Faith"

This is the first Bible study I was in in college...these girls are the ones that played a huge, huge role in who I am today. We decided to go fishing today since Becky was in town...but it got a little nasty out. I'll have pics up tomorrow in the "photos section" if you want to see our adventure of the day. :) Meet Becky B, Missy, me, and Becky J. These girls are amazing and I am so blessed to have them in my life!!! :)

So last night I got to go to a slumber party with the girls who I was in my first Bible study with in college. It was great. Two of us are single as they come and one is engaged and the other married for 4 years now. Missy's (my old roomie) fiance joined us for girl's night until we went to bed. I hadn't seen these girls (save Missy) for quite awhile. So we sat around folding wedding invitations and putting each other on the "hot seat". It was finally like "I'm home" knowing that it was a safe place to share my heart and all that had happened in the last year or so...it was also interesting to get the insight of 3 women whom I greatly respect and love and also that of a guy. Healing is happening before my very eyes. God is good.

So we pulled out the matresses and all slept in the living room last night...going to bed at about 2am. And when we woke up this morning, they all informed me that I was grinding my teeth last night...something I thought I didn't do since the braces days in college. Oh well, its not a slumber party is someone doesn't snore or do something odd in the night!! :)