I believe, even when I see you crying
I believe, let me dream for you
When nothing comes from trying
Remember, I believe in you
-Bethany Dillon "I Believe"

You take an ordinary day
And turn it into flowers like the month of May
Yes you do
You see all my pain
You cry over it for hours till I'm new again
Yes you do
-Bethany Dillon "New"

I think that maybe I have posted something recently with these lyrics, but I don't really care. Today has been a day of reflection. Things in my life aren't going exactly how I had pictured them and I know better than hold onto the picture in my mind...I have already let go of that...but the idea of a "loss" is there. Nothing earth shattering or anything of that nature...just the loss of something I had in my mind that is not turning out to equal the vision in my mind. But I guess I can rejoice in the fact that God has a better vision of my life in His mind...and whereas I am sure the road will not be an easy one...I know that He cries "over it for hours until I'm new again"...one day I will be new. One of these days I will learn to really just let go of all this world offers and let Jesus dream for me in a way that I will not hold onto any of my small dreams, but instead embrace His larger ones. He is teaching me. I count it a blessing that He loves me enough to let me walk through pain to draw me closer to Him...and that He is always with me through the pain, even though I may not feel it. Like love, it is not just a feeling...it is a choice...it is a commitment. And I know that Jesus is the only guy who will ever be able to carry through fully with His commitment to me. I love that. What hope that inspires in my heart. I don't know how I would make it without this hope that He brings. Without the love that He gives. Without the way that He is always there for me and sees every tear that no one else on this earth sees. Without the way He knows me intimately and loves me in spite of that. :)