"A page is turned in this world to reveal a little girl
With a heart that's bigger, as it is unfurled
By the language in her soul, that's teaching her to grow
With a careful cover of love that will not fail
And the God of second chance
Picked her up and He let her dance
Through a world that isn't kind"
-Bebo Norman "A Page is Turned"

"So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the pain
And hurt a little, hurt for me, my future is so bold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds
This task before me may seem unclear
But it, my maker holds"
-Bebo Norman "The Hammer Holds"

This night I found myself out driving around with my windows down and my heater on my feet. I just needed to get away. I just needed to think. I pulled over by the lake at one point in hopes of just sitting and taking in the peacefulness...that it would somehow just settle over me by some form of osmosis and calm my thoughts. I sat there for about 3 minutes, an absolutely beautiful summer night, and could not sit any longer. My thoughts could not focus. I don't know if its a tired restlessness or a different kind...knowing that a very difficult day is coming up very soon. This world is not kind. I used to listen to "A Page is Turned" with hope of God hearing my cries and answering the way I wanted Him to. He didn't. I can't listen to that song anymore. But I suppose if that were the worst of it, that would be no problem. :) I guess the thing with dancing is that sometimes you fall and hurt yourself. Sometimes your partner steps on your toes and hurts you. So you just pick yourself off, take the hand of the Father and dance elsewhere. "My dreams are not the issue here..." This life is not about me. I forget that all the time. My dreams are so important to me...but as I was reminded today "my ways are not His ways..." The task before me is very unclear...other than the basics...but my Maker holds it...and in that I have to rest..."He MAKES us lie down in green pastures..." A good shepherd will make his sheep lie down. When I get to the end of me, all I have is Him...I just wish I weren't so stubborn to have to keep getting to the point of being at the end of me. A difficult day lies ahead...nine days to be exact. But I'm thankful that though others walk away, He is with me and holding me through it. And when we get through that, maybe again I can breathe deep and take another step forward. I just want to move forward.