Today I found out that I have a job. It starts on Thursday and will be finished about 2 weeks before I move to South Carolina. I have a car now as well. I also found out yesterday that my financial aid went through and my first semester of school is paid for. It appears as though all is going well, as planned some might say. And it is. And physically I am present...though emotionally/spiritually I feel like I am walking through a jungle and am currently a little lost and not sure of the way. I feel that I am operating on autopilot as life goes on. Even though all is falling into place, I sense no real joy in things...reality is a place that I'm afraid to step into because I know what awaits me there...and I'm just not sure I can handle it yet. Autopilot and reality...not the best two options...its kind of like which is the better of two evils. :)