Last night, Cori, Phil, and I went to the beach at about 9:30 and just sat out there until about 11:30pm...the beach is disappearing and I'm sure reappearing down the way a bit as it does every year. As I sat there watching...I was struck with the way that the water carried out the sand...whether it wanted to go or not, it went. I guess its easy to compare it to the shifting sands of this life...and I guess that's what my mind and heart are on lately. A big change is upcoming...and I no longer have any idea what is next. I thought I knew...or had a direction, but I am no longer sure...sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes no...and sometimes its completely unclear which way to go.

I think I have put these lyrics on before...but this is a song that has meant a lot to me this year. Its by Jill Paquette.

Easy isn't what I'd call this, who knows what easy means
The more I try to make this happen the less it's clear to me
The hope that keeps me moving is in Your promises to me
And right now that's enough, it's gonna have to be

Sometimes yes, sometimes no, sometimes that's the way it goes
You're not giving any secrets away
Who's to know, who's to say, sometimes it's hard to live this way
Holding on, letting go
When it's sometimes yes and sometimes no

I wanna know just what it looks like, what the answer's gonna be
I wanna grab a hold of something to give me some security
And know it's You I'm hearing gently helping me to see
When everything I've prayed for is not Your will for me

And it's not poetic justice that has me waiting all this while
It's the way a loving father deals with his child
So this is how I'm learning holding on and letting go
Sometimes yes and sometimes no
It's sometimes yes, sometimes no