Today I have laid upon the altar the most important thing to me. And just like a living sacrifice, I want to crawl off the altar and take it all back. I want to say that I can handle the things that are hindering me without this sacrifice. But for months I have tried that very thing. And I have failed. God has blessed me greatly, and now I feel like I have to tell Him that He can have it back...I want Him to hold onto it and fix me. And if He decides I cannot have it again, then so be it. A dead sacrifice would be so much easier. Something I'm not passionate about. But that's not what God asks for. I know His intentions are for the best, to help me love Him more and to be more like Him...why does it have to be so painful? My heart is broken. Only the Healer can make it whole again.