So that sand dune that I was talking about yesterday may not apply. Its amazing how quickly defeat can enter into a heart and render it helpless and hopeless. I have a uphill battle in my life right now...and I thought that I was really climbing well...cautiously, but I was moving steadily forward...however, I have come to find that instead of moving forward, apparently, I was standing still. Moving forward means sweat and tired muscles and all of that stuff...maybe I was in the prep mode for moving forward, but now I have been put into motion whether I am ready or not. Its ok. I just detest the feeling of defeat...but I guess it makes me come to the point where I decide if I will give up or if I will use this defeat to finally move forward...not let the sand dune beat me. Sometimes I wonder if its worth climbing this sand dune anymore...but I know it is...the view will be worthwhile, if I can make it to the top. Its just hard, I feel alone in this and I feel like people are looking at me wondering why it is so hard for me. I hate that feeling. I have felt nothing but weak since being back in this desert. I guess my weakness is where Jesus is made strong.